Be Your Own Leader
From time to time, memories from 20+ (gulp) years ago creep into my head and I’m starting to realize there is usually a purpose. Recently, I thought about my short, but meaningful, “athletic” career from ages 11-14 and what I actually learned in those years. I didn’t learn these things until 2 decades later, but lessons are lessons.
During this time, I loved playing basketball. I was the not the star, and for such a small town, there was a lot of competition to get real playing time. I didn’t get a lot but I played because I loved it (lesson 1). While I wasn’t good enough to play much in actual games, I never gave up on my goal to become a starter (lesson 2). Between year 3 & 4 of my “career”, I practiced every day during the summer. I had the classic driveway hoop on my grandparents’ house and played all the classic games…by myself – Horse, Lightning, Around the World. I created my own drills and measured my progress. Even though this approach was not traditional, I knew what I wanted so I got creative, worked hard and found a way to make it happen (lessons 3 & 4).
Finally in my 4th year, our typical starters had actually moved on to the higher squad and by default, I was chosen as a starter. While I could’ve been sour at the thought of being a “default” player (and kind of was from time to time) I more so saw it as an opportunity (lesson 5) for me to do what I enjoyed doing and I played my hardest. Within a few games, I proved what I was capable of, got accolades from other teachers/coaches and was “the” 3-point hitter (I still remember the feeling of hittin’ those 3s!). I was quick and able to anticipate others’ moves so I also had quite a few steals as well. All of this from someone who barely played the previous 3 years.
After the 4th season, I contemplated continuing my “career” into high school and really wasn’t interested anymore. The varsity coach pulled me into his office one day and said “you’re smart out there. I want you to keep playing”. I took it into consideration but ultimately chose other activities.
At the time, I didn’t think much about these important life lessons but the ultimate lesson here is to be your own leader.
Throughout this experience, there was no one (other than my parents) that showed they believed in me. No one took extra time to tell me why I wasn’t doing things correctly, how to get better, or encouraged me to believe in myself. I chose to do that for myself. I chose to practice and experiment with different techniques when no one showed me how; I chose to focus on improving vs being stuck; I chose to not give up.
I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened had I continued on but in the grand scheme of things, I remember feeling so confident and empowered about my future during that last conversation with the varsity coach. I was proud of what I had accomplished and the hard work it took to get there and that was enough for me. Now, in my more mature age, I realize that experience was a lesson in leadership and what you’re capable of when you dig deep enough.
In my professional career, I’ve experienced similar situations where I felt there was no one cheering me on or encouraging me to keep going, almost to the point of where I nearly walked out on a job. However, without even making the connection, I again became the leader I needed to pull myself through. Again I chose to believe in myself, I chose to experiment with different techniques to deal with the challenges, I chose to ask for help, I chose to focus on moving forward, I chose to not give up. And, I again, felt that same feeling of confidence and empowerment that only comes from within your core.
These lessons ring true no matter the situation or your age. Dig deep into your core and embrace it. Be the leader you, and others, need.
